Back on the Horse

After an extended visit from in-laws, I'm back on the case. Or the horse, if you'd prefer. Per the earlier post, I'd like to propose a little Friday night outing for interested campers.

Count Dracula's Weed Smuggling Jam Engine at the Parlor (100 E North Loop Blvd Ste B). It's a pizza parlor, it's free and it features the jam engine. Who's with me!!! Seriously, who?

As penance for my absence, here's some super awesomeness. I can't promise it'll be this great, but what nowadays is?

Lolita reading group discussion

Attention summer book club members: We are in for a real treat. My brother Gabe came up with several questions to help facilitate our discussion of Lolita. If you haven't read the book yet, hold off on reading the questions, as they give away the ending.

ADD Reading Group Discussion Questions

Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov

1. What do you think of the cover of the book? The one with the sexy lips on it? Do you find the lips to be sexy? If you do, does that make you a pedophile?
2. According to the first chapter, Dolores Haze had many names: Lo, Lola, Lolita, etc. Discuss other figures in popular culture who have many names. (Example: Sean "Puffy" Combs or Jennifer Lopez, who dated each other for a time.) Is it a coincidence that Jennifer Lopez goes by J-Lo and Dolores goes by "Lo, plain Lo, in the morning" or is Lopez consciously drawing a parallel between herself and Haze, hoping she will remain young in the eyes of her public? If yes, did the semi-creepy gamble pay off? If no, you have to admit that it's quite a coincidence.
3. Look out the window. What do you see?
4. Should Humbert be admired for writing so eloquently while in prison? You know what they do to pedophiles in prison, don't you?
5. Have you ever dated someone because you were interested in one of his or her family members? How did that work out for you?
6. If gay marriage is ever legalized, won't guys like Humbert just be running rampant?
7. Lolita had her first sexual experience at summer camp. Is this common? Go around the room and discuss your own "summer camp firsts". Include smoking/drug use in addition to kissing/more than kissing. Do these experiences make you hesitant about sending your own children to summer camp?
8. What song is playing through each of your heads right now? If two of you had the same song in your head, laugh at what a coincidence that is.
9. Humbert murders Quilty. Was that the right thing to do? Is there a "Quilty" in your own life (someone you have killed)?
10. In the movie, Quilty is played by Peter Sellers. Are any modern character actors as interesting as Sellers? Johnny Depp?
11. Would you let Vladimir Nabakov baby-sit your daughter?

Awesomest To Do List ever

Ok, time to get down to brass tacks. Below is a list of Camp Nutria-approved activities in chronological order. More will be added as I get my act together and plan a bit. Let's sort out who's going to what when in the comments section.

word.

• Wednesday, May 23: Hellcats at Alamo's Weird Wednesday totally FREE freakout. I go to these you know, it would be nice to have some company.
  
• Friday, June 1: Count Dracula's Weed Smuggling Engine at the Parlor. Seriously, I accidentally saw this band recently and they're awesome - a cross between the Doors, the Crazy World of Arthur Brown and Will Ferrel's Neil Diamond impression.
  
• Sunday, June 3: Chickenshit Bingo at Ginny's Little Longhorn. Can't do it this coming Sunday but we gotta do it soon, as in next Sunday 6/3.
  
• Friday, June 8: The Hold Steady at Emo's. Drunken Springsteenesque rock heroism.
  
• Saturday, June 9: The Lovely Sparrows at the Mohawk. It's their only Austin show this summer...
  

Irish Stereotypes and delicious treats circa 1982

The East Coast rules.

Rooney Loves Nature

As we all know, Jon Rooney's LOVES nature in a way that only "all-caps" can sarcastically convey. Obviously, irony #1 is that Jon chose a business school in a city known for its treasure trove of outdoor options. Irony #2, is the nature freak launched his own summer camp (he even named it after on of town lakes most furry creatures). So without further ado:

The Official Camp Nutria

Outdoor Adventure Lineup

Austin Outdoor Spots

1. Zilker Park: A bounty of open fields and wood glens offers excellent opportunities to enjoy both the searing South Texas Sun and cool naps beneath tick invested oaks. There's rock climbing and frisbee golf, but don't forget about the kiddy trainride. Plus, there's primo swimming. You can choose between diving with the Nutria or swimming laps at Barton Springs Pool (more on the Pool below).
   

   Rooney Nature Scale: 2 Claw Marks out of 5

2. The Greenbelt: A hike next to Barton Creek under both the Mopac and Loop 360 bridges? You bet! Sure you've got exhaust raining down on you and the water may be saturated with lead and oil from the constant traffic, but what a scenic trail. Did I mention there are racoons? They're huge, and they hate people. Awesome!
   

   Rooney Nature Scale: 3 Claw Marks out of 5

3. Barton Springs Pool: Is there anything better than swimming in non-chlorinated water with seaweed tickling your feet? I don't think so; unless you tack on freezing cold water. Best of all, this treat ain't free... It's 3 bones per person.
   

   Rooney Nature Scale: 2 Claw Marks out of 5

4. Guano Fest (aka Bats at South Congress Bridge): Waiting see some bats with cars screaming by on the South Congress Bridge, now that's a recipe for fun (and flashes of your life before your eyes). Did I mention these bats poop and in high enough concentrations guano is deadly?
   

   Rooney Nature Scale: 1 Claw Marks out of 5

Texas Hill Country Spots

1. Hamilton Pool: This place has it all: a secluded beach, a huge swimming pool, a 75 foot waterfall, a cool cliffy overhand thing. No kidding around, this place is awesome. And, they allow you to bring beer!
   

   Rooney Nature Scale: 4 Claw Marks out of 5

2. Enchanted Rock: A gigantic peice of stone, and you get to climb it. Pretty much no shade and lot's of slick spots to fall to your death. Rooney loves this one.
   

   Rooney Nature Scale: 5 Claw Marks out of 5

For those of us who don't hate the sun we should definitely consider hitting these spots at least once during the summer. Besides Rooney can catch up with us after the damned fireball in the sky drops below the horizon.

Shake your money maker

Seeing as how Jeb thinks he's the monarch of our little land, I put forth that we need some Camp Nutria legal tender...with his giant head on it, of course.

AND

I have come up with another camp outing. Din-din chez Marianne on Tuesday. I promise no lentils (Jon) and no uninformative documentaries (everyone else). Plus, my cat breathes without batteries.

Swimming

There will be a group swim from 2:30-3:30 today at Deep Eddy pool ($3 admission).
Also, I'd like to propose we take a field trip to see the Round Rock Express sometime this summer. Maybe an evening game.... Take a look at the home game calendar.

Camper Jeb is now Camp Monarch (or Monarch of the Camp)

Wow - a challenge thus answered. Unfortunately, the footage from Why is not on YouTube. But this is:



Thanks again Camper Jeb!

pre-mergence-y

We look so innocent here. We had no idea what we were getting ourselves into.

Arts and Crafts Activity

I suppose this activity falls under the "Arts and Crafts" umbrella of summer camp. Come check out "The Road Leads To Austin" concert this Saturday at 5:30pm at Auditorium shores.

http://www.roadtoaustinconcert.com/

The concert is free. Just print out your ticket and get there ahead of the crowds. Academicos de Opera will be performing - Austin's one-and-only samba school. We're goofy and lovable, guaranteed to put smiles on campers' faces.

http://www.austinsambaschool.org/

I call it "mergence" music

For those of you who missed last night's odd, rambling and often unitentionally funny kickoff to Camp Nutria, here are the crib notes:



And yes, per the comments from yesterday's post, late singer and ladykiller Tim Buckley was also an actor and starred in a brief, experimental film about group therapy called Why with Nordberg himself, O.J. Friggin' Simpson. Think about that for a second and try not to pass out. And, jimmeny crickets, if you can dig deep read the following and have your brain properly melted - it actually features the quote "OJ was like a black Al Pacino". Whoever can acquire that movie for a viewing will be crowned Camp Monarch.

The Lovely Sparrows were awesome as usual, and Camper Jeb ate something called a 'bacon pizza' that's best never discussed again.

Not sure where we go from here...

1st Outing of the Season

First of all, nice work with the comments everyone. Lolita might be a little pomo the kids, but I'm open to the idea of the book club. And former Secretary Rumsfeld, Camp Nutra is free and will last as long as possible. Think of it more like a war of attrition than a camp - I'm sure you of all people can handle that analogy.

Ok, main point of business (or bizness, or bidness if you prefer) - Austin's finest musical collective the Lovely Sparrows will be playing Monday night, May 14th at the Alamo Drafthouse before a screening of the sure-to-be-great Tim Buckley documentary. It's like $2 for a ticket, and that includes the live music and the film so, c'mon. Two bucks. This will be the first outing of the season.

Ideas for the next outing? I know a bunch of us campers have school-related nonsense to wrap up this week, but let's bandy some ideas about anyway, like:

• Giant game of Marco Polo at Little Stacy pool off of Live Oak
  
• Going to Carvel on S. 1st and seeing if they have Cookie Puss like they do on the East Coast
  
  
  
• Going to Best Buy and playing Guitar Hero
  

Also, if anyone else want to post rather than just comment, sign up and let me know your id (or handle a la CB radio lingo) and I'll get you going. Seriously.

Welcome to Camp Nutria

This is the summer of our ineptitude. The only thing separating us from crippling, mind-numbing depression and anxiety this coming summer is structure. That structure will be provided by Camp Nutria. What's Camp Nutria? First, you have to know about nutria. They will be our spiritual guides.

Camp Nutria will be the shiney super structure around this glorious summer of our fading post-youths. I will be a sort of camp counselor, shit yeah.

Since summer is almost upon us, we must now decide on some activities. Maybe stuff like:

• swimming (chlorinated pools only)
  
• a stimulating book club
  
• laniard and wallet-making
  
• A lecture series, featuring those of us willing to lecture
  

Because I thought ahead, here are some activities to type into your electo-calendars:

• The Lovely Sparrows at Alamo Drafthouse downtown before the Tim Buckley documentary (5/14)
  
• Weird Wednesdays at Alamo Drafthouse, Midnight for FREE - I plan to make every one in June.
  
• Vampire film festival
  
• sandwiches - anytime, anyplace
  

Once we get our acts together they'll be a group calendar or something. Maybe even a camp kick-off party with t-shirts. Comment away...